Puppy Poser #1

It was over a year ago when Oreo moved on from our lives - physically.
She was a Labrador-Retriever mix, and taught us a lot. 

A few times she would try to push her way through a gap in the fence, just to follow Granny Sprite (she's coming to 15 doggie years old) As she got bigger, she would still push through... and one day, she popped her hips in the process. Did she complain? Nope. We didn't know what had happened till we took her to the vet. Later that week, she refused to stay at her allocated site and heal - we found her down the slope of the back garden, unable to climb back up. Thankful for a strong Arrow! We will never forget the sight of her looking so happy as she made her way up the steps in the arms of her young master! 

We learned about enjoying life to the full, and even ignore the hindrances. What is pain when you are having fun! What an outlook to life! 

Thankful for that short while we had Oreo. 

PS She was named Oreo because she had just one little patch of white... everywhere else was black.

That Time of the Year

It is happening this weekend!
Unless you live in England...

Thousands will celebrate this. 

But I also remember those who are struggling to conceive. Those who are having to cope w multiple miscarriages. This will be a difficult weekend for them. I know because I was once like them.

The sense of hopelessness, sadness, and a lack of fulfilment. The pain of watching those dear to you get married after you, and are now either pregnant or holding lovely babies in their arms. Your own arms feel so very empty. It was worse for me when I was working as a midwife. I watched women giving newborns away for adoption. I saw women signing forms to consent for abortions... I felt the love and loss of the women as I grieved for their fruits.

It took a while. Finally, I got to a point where I could agree to be present at the birth of one of my best friend's baby. What joy. Three months prior I hated the sight of her. Her distended belly made me feel even more inadequate and I entertained unreasonable thoughts like "You did this just to spite me!"

It was a process. Finally I could say honestly that I was at peace with whatever God had in store for me. I had what I thought were promises of sons before I even got married. But God is sovereign. And I could enjoy going traveling with my husband at the drop of a hat.

It was a triumph! I could laugh at the enemy. I could celebrate, worship and adore God despite my circumstances. Who I was (and am) is defined by HIM and HIM alone! Hallelujah!

And then the Lord opened my womb.

He indeed works in mysterious ways.

While I dont feel the pain of the past, I remember the difficulties. While I no longer shed such tears, I shed them when I pray alongside and for those who do. 

You know who you are - Hannahs with wombs waiting to be filled by Samuels. Praying and standing with you at this time.