Puppy Poser #1

It was over a year ago when Oreo moved on from our lives - physically.
She was a Labrador-Retriever mix, and taught us a lot. 

A few times she would try to push her way through a gap in the fence, just to follow Granny Sprite (she's coming to 15 doggie years old) As she got bigger, she would still push through... and one day, she popped her hips in the process. Did she complain? Nope. We didn't know what had happened till we took her to the vet. Later that week, she refused to stay at her allocated site and heal - we found her down the slope of the back garden, unable to climb back up. Thankful for a strong Arrow! We will never forget the sight of her looking so happy as she made her way up the steps in the arms of her young master! 

We learned about enjoying life to the full, and even ignore the hindrances. What is pain when you are having fun! What an outlook to life! 

Thankful for that short while we had Oreo. 

PS She was named Oreo because she had just one little patch of white... everywhere else was black.

That Time of the Year

It is happening this weekend!
Unless you live in England...

Thousands will celebrate this. 

But I also remember those who are struggling to conceive. Those who are having to cope w multiple miscarriages. This will be a difficult weekend for them. I know because I was once like them.

The sense of hopelessness, sadness, and a lack of fulfilment. The pain of watching those dear to you get married after you, and are now either pregnant or holding lovely babies in their arms. Your own arms feel so very empty. It was worse for me when I was working as a midwife. I watched women giving newborns away for adoption. I saw women signing forms to consent for abortions... I felt the love and loss of the women as I grieved for their fruits.

It took a while. Finally, I got to a point where I could agree to be present at the birth of one of my best friend's baby. What joy. Three months prior I hated the sight of her. Her distended belly made me feel even more inadequate and I entertained unreasonable thoughts like "You did this just to spite me!"

It was a process. Finally I could say honestly that I was at peace with whatever God had in store for me. I had what I thought were promises of sons before I even got married. But God is sovereign. And I could enjoy going traveling with my husband at the drop of a hat.

It was a triumph! I could laugh at the enemy. I could celebrate, worship and adore God despite my circumstances. Who I was (and am) is defined by HIM and HIM alone! Hallelujah!

And then the Lord opened my womb.

He indeed works in mysterious ways.

While I dont feel the pain of the past, I remember the difficulties. While I no longer shed such tears, I shed them when I pray alongside and for those who do. 

You know who you are - Hannahs with wombs waiting to be filled by Samuels. Praying and standing with you at this time.

Thankful!

It was two years ago when she told me about the pain.

I recall the shock upon discovery of the lump. What's more the size of it. I needed effort to keep a straight face and stay calm. 

Things moved swiftly and in less than a week, she is in the hospital, awaiting surgery to remove what we hope is large but benign lump. 

Two years ago she went in to the operating theatre. Two years ago when she came out, I sensed the person was different.  It was as if she changed. And so she did. For the better.

So thankful to the Lord for the way things worked out. Hallelujah!

A Message for My Arrows

Something About Music

I love music. Most music that is. I don't like the noisy type unless I can make out the words. 

I especially love live music. It was a joy when during one season we often had Arrow #1 on the piano, Arrow #2 on the guitar, foster son on the synthesizer doing percussion, Arrow #3 and I singing our heads off, and Hubby humming along. This weekly event was always something I really looked forward to. 

Over time, the house got quiet as one by one the older ones left.

Imagine my joy when I came home one day to find Arrow #3 on the piano.

All I can say is "MORE! MORE!" Haha!

Oh, and just in case you think she doesn't play much, she actually plays the bass guitar more, an instrument which is not exactly a solo one. So she doesn't get it out much at home....

Wait

It was one of those weeks. Tiring meetings. Sapping weather. Difficult circumstances. 

Misunderstood. Misinformed. Mistaken more than once.

I had to keep reminding myself to stay focused.

Then on the way home with Arrow #3, we saw this.

Amazed that I managed to catch a shot of it. Delighted that it was flying repeatedly overhead. Humbled by the reminder the Lord had sent.

Isaiah 40:31But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Growing Up

Another stage in Arrow #3's life. She is learning to care for her parents more. She decided that since I wasn't feeling so well, she would cook!

These were her attempts. I am grateful!

But I guess I ought to increase her repertoire of dishes.....!

Perimenopause

Sometimes I scare myself.

Other times I think it's ok. Especially when I read articles like this which help to put my perspective right and assure me that I am doing ok. I found myself hankering for a lot of the things on this list!

Remedies for Memory Loss, Concentration Problems and Forgetfulness

Everyone had days when they didn't feel like they were 'on their game' including you. And as you age, both your bodies and brains grow old as well. Not to mention the effects of hormone imbalances during your perimenopause and menopause phase. But smart food and supplement choices might be just the remedies for memory loss, loss of concentration and forgetfulness in menopause and perimenopause you needed.

Healthy foods and natural supplements are becoming popular as they act towards making better numerous aspects of health and well-being. They are derived from substances that occur naturally and have been consumed in one form or another for centuries. Their effect on body functions proven over time and their ability to encourage better memory are worth investigating.

Here are a couple of natural supplements for the brain and memory that may remedy your memory loss, loss of concentration and forgetfulness in perimenopause and menopause and help you get your thought process back on track:

• Fish Oil
  Fish oil is a form of supplement which is harvested from the fish bodies and purified through a systematic process. It contains Omega-3 fatty acids that will benefit your overall health. It is associated with treating memory loss, better concentration, and health of the heart. It also helps to prevent the attack of Alzheimer's disease.
• Ginko Biloba
  Ginkgo Biloba is an extract from the green leaves of the Ginkgo tree. The active ingredients in the extract are the ginkgoflavoneglycos, bilobalide, and terpenelactones including ginkgolides A, B and C. Ginkgo improves blood circulation and oxygen flow to the body and brain. One of its benefits is improving memory retrieval and treating loss of concentration. Thus it may help many women to deal with their memory loss, forgetfulness and loss of concentration during menopause and perimenopause.
• Rosemary
  People often considered rosemary as just a spice they use when cooking. However, its effects as herbal supplement are surprising. Rosemary helps to keep the brain stimulated and make certain that memory is working correctly. A good working brain will certainly improves memory. There are many available types of supplement that include rosemary thus you're encouraged to check the dosage and strength before taking one.
• Green tea and black tea
  The potent antioxidant and other ingredients in green tea and black tea are believed to promote healthy blood flow, cure many aliments and improve memory function. Since green tea and black tea do contain caffeine it's important to use it sensibly. When taking moderately, green tea and black tea may be the right remedy for perimenopausal and menopausal women's memory loss, forgetfulness and loss of concentration symptoms.
• Ginseng
  Ginseng also appears to improve memory function. Ginseng is an herb that improves energy. And many aging people insisted that it has the ability to revitalize. If it has this profound effect on other parts of the body it would seem reasonable that it would work as a booster to the mind and memory.
• Caffeine
  Caffeine is a stimulant and it works to stimulate not only your hearts but your minds as well. It can give a person the extra boost they need to clear their mind. The caffeine that is found within the coffee, tea or chocolate jolts the brain and the memory can retain more information.

Other natural foods which are great for the brain and may help to reduce symptoms of memory loss, loss of concentration and forgetfulness in menopause and perimenopause include:

• Blueberries
  Blueberries have been demonstrated to protect the brain from stress, chronic insanity, and Alzheimer's disease. Research has also indicated that diets rich in blueberries significantly increased both the learning ability and motor skills.
• Avocados
  Avocados though considered a 'fatty fruit', help to promote healthy blood circulation and lowered blood pressure, diminishing the possibility of developing hypertension, which can lead to a stroke.
• Deep-water fish
  Deep-water fish is abundant in Omega-3 essential fatty acids that are important for healthy brain function. Salmon is a wise, freshwater fish choice.
• Nuts and seeds
  Nuts and seeds are great sources of vitamin E, an important vitamin required by your brain to avert deteriorating cognitive functions. Cashews, peanuts, walnuts, sunflower and sesame seeds and almonds are all good choices.
• Whole-grain breads, brown rice and oatmeal
  Whole-grain breads, brown rice and oatmeal reduce the risk for cardiac disease by promoting a healthy heart and improving blood flow. The brain is undoubted to thrive with the excellent oxygen flow and nutrient delivery through the bloodstream. Complex carbohydrates also provide the brain with a persistent flow of glucose that enhances brain function. But avoid simple carbohydrates which are found in junk food. They give the brain a short-lived sugar high that often followed by a crash that causes you feel hungry and tired.
• Chocolate
  Chocolate is very rich in flavonoids and antioxidants which are full of recognized health benefits.
  Some of its benefits include: reduce the risk of heart disease, promote healthy blood flow and blood pressure and boost brainpower. A study found that consumption of milk and dark chocolate will improve impulse control and reaction time. So, a little chocolate in your diet will improve your memory retrieval and concentration.

If you just begin to feel the signs of memory loss, forgetfulness and loss of concentration in perimenopause, menopause and other stages of life, taking a natural supplement and right foods can be the ideal remedy. They often have fewer adverse effects in addition to essential benefits of their memory boosting attributes.

When the natural ways fail to improve your memory and concentration you may consider taking hormones that speed up bodily processes, like the over-the-counter drug DHEA. Recent studies demonstrate that DHEA improves memory, strengthens the immune system, prevents bone loss and may even protect us from diabetes and autoimmune disease. If you're a postmenopausal woman, you may consider DHEA hormone therapy but avoid it if you're not in your menopausal phase yet.

Finally, a better mind and memory for a better life is not an impossible thing. Since there're so many remedies for memory loss, loss of concentration and forgetfulness in menopause and perimenopause you can choose from. Just remember, moderation is the key.

JOCHEBED

I was chatting with some friends last night.

Suddenly I remembered this woman - Jochebed.

And how I prayed to be like her.

May my prayer come true.

And may you discover her too.

The Value of a Person

We have always said that we would not compare one offspring with another.

That's hard to do. But we try. We try to say that each one is as valuable as the other, no matter how alike or how different. That is not to say that we do not encourage improvement or aspiration of better and higher goals. It's just that we try to put one next to the other with pointing fingers.

So when one child does better than another academically or in sports or some other field, we try very hard not to say, "See what so-and-so has done? Learn from him/her" We try to exercise restrain, we try to exhibit total acceptance and love.

But

When one is particularly outstanding, it is even harder still to bite one's tongue

Because you DO want the others to learn....

Any suggestions? Thoughts? Opinions?

Different Strokes

It is as if God used a different paint brush each time He worked on one of my children. They might look similar, talk the same lingo, and even sound alike. But their personalities? More different than chalk and cheese.

It makes it interesting to care for them. Communication is diverse too. One has to be rather creative. What works for one doesn't always work for the other.

And yet, one has to be fair and not seen to take sides or favour one over the others.

I believe this is training more for the parents than for the children.

Someone one said that there are no bad children. Only bad parents.

I agree.

Examples

We often talk about setting examples for our children. As we talk about this, we often think about anger issues, being hardworking or just being good people.

However, have we ever thought about fear issues?

For instance, when a mother is squeamish about spiders, often the children grow up with intense dislike and similar fears. If an adult influential in the life of a child screams at the sight of a cockroach, you can be sure that the child will pick up that fear and imbibe that.

"Fear not", the Lord said. 366 times I am told. We are meant to only have fear of the Lord, and even that, is then the beginning of wisdom....

The Worst Pain

It's not childbirth, though research seems to indicate so.

It's not suffering from illnesses either.

Toothaches can make you lose sleep, but I don't think it comes close.

Long term pain from backache and such might come close. But only close....

How about the pain of losing someone? Hmm that's pretty close I guess.

No, I have decided.

In my books, the worst pain is seeing someone you love going through something awful and being powerless to do anything about it. Don't you agree?

Thank God I can pray, and that is more than enough. HE is a God Who hears and answers prayer!

A Fast-Diminishing Sight

What's big, red, steadfast and sturdy, and previously a prime instrument of communication?

That's right - the one and only postbox!
I still recall my aunt sending a US greenback for each and every one of her nieces and nephews on particular year. Apparently I was the only one who wrote back to say thanks!

Ah the written word - there were unique ways of communicating. One could read the frustration in how the "t"s were crossed a little harder. One could see the jerks from sobs in the misalignment of each word. Not to mention the science of understanding the writer from the writing.

Alas, with advent of the internet this is no longer so often seen. Indeed, letter writing by hand is a dying art. Even buying letter writing paper seems to be harder these days - you have to go to a specific corner in the stationery shop!

But I am hoping that with modern technology I will still have contact with my sons when they go - if not better contact. We have webcams and headphones etc these days right? I wonder how often they will communicate? Or will it be only when they need Vit M....?

Overheard Conversation

Following my last post, I overheard a telephone conversation between Arrow #2 and a friend.

Arrow#2 was giving advice to his friend on the other end of the line. I could hear him encouraging his friend to put an ice pack on.

What? No ice pack? No problem. "Get a bag of mixed vegetables instead", says the online consultant, to Big Momma's delight!

I guess he did learn something from all my past nagging!

Money Wise

I was only little. Less than 10 years old. Dad had some money from his work. So he gave my brother and I some of it - one ringgit for every month of our life. It seemed like a fortune then. He got the money in 50 sen coins and we delighted in putting the coins into our metal moneybox. Since I was older buy a year and a half, I had more coins. What joy to feel the weight and hear the money jingle.

As I grew a little older, still under 10, I found myself spending more than the pocket money I was given. Instead of approaching my parents, I decided to dig the moneyboxes.

I can still remember lying on my parents' bed, pulling away with a hair pin from my Mom's box of curlers. The coins would drop around my ears, sometimes hitting my mouth. Initially I would take only a ringgit. But later the thrill of having money to spend made me take more.

I didn't just take from mine of course. I needed to make sure that my box weighed more than my brother's. So I took from his too.

Then one day, I came home from school to see my parents looking strange. They confronted me with the theft.

I burst into tears and confessed.

In their love for me, their firstborn, they increased my pocket money.

No reprimand. No advice that I recall. Just a quick discussion amongst themselves and then telling me they were sorry that I didn't have enough and that I had to steal. Perhaps they felt they were inexperienced parents.

The end result of that, however, was that I didn't learn to budget. I often spent all I had. That is, until much later in life when I met my accountant husband.

So I resolved to teach with my children to handle money.

From the time they could count, we gave them daily pocket money till they went to secondary school. Then from Junior one to three, we gave them weekly pocket money. When in the upper secondary classes, we gave them monthly allowances. Constantly monitoring what they spent on, teaching them to budget. "Set aside for God first," we'd tell them. From time to time, without their asking, we would increase their allowances.

Recently I just gave my eldest one his own bank pass book. We feel confident they can manage the older ones can manager their money. Certainly more so than I did~

For Comfort

One would fall asleep twirling a string. It would most likely be the string from the bolster. The string would get tangled up among the toes. Funny way to sleep. I still remember being asked bashingly to untangle a knot when you were younger.

Another would hold a hand or better still, an elbow to sleep. It sometimes shocked the person next to you when your little hand would sleepily reach out and almost tickle as you felt for the bit of comfort. Another funny habit but fun too.

Then there is the one who had to have something soft and that sort of feel. Certain pieces of cloth would do, and not others. Just to feel the material between your fingers was enough to send you to sleep....

Funnily two out of three sought comfort using their fingers. One used the toes!

I wonder whether there are others out there?

Rationed Caeserean Sections

I had my firstborn in England. When I was in labour with him for almost twenty-four hours, I thought I ought to have had a caeserean section. In fact, as he got tired and passed meconium in utero, I was mentally preparing myself for theatre, and trying to work out how to tell my Hubby so he wouldnt be too anxious. As it turned out, I was given a forceps delivery (that's worth another post!)

Then recently, I just read that in some places of the UK, the National Health Service there is facing such terrible financial constraints that they have to ration the number of caeserean sections performed.

Unlike my homeland where independent obstetricians can perform, and often do, caesearean sections on ladies pregnant to term on specific "suitable" dates, the doctors in the UK rarely do that. These operations are performed on a "need-to" basis. So I dont understand how they can cut them down. This sounds dangerous.... and scary.... and makes me glad that we opted to leave...

Turning Twenty

Arrow #1 used to be quite a shy and withdrawn chap.

Whenever we went out, even to visit a friend's house, he would not leave my side. Often as I moved from one part of the place to another, I would feel a tug at my skirt as he held on to it to make sure I didn't get too far away from him! I would make sure my steps were not too big so that he could keep up.

Once, when another boy hit him, he didn't hit back. Rather, he stood there! The mother of the other boy was most apologetic. She was also surprised at my son's behaviour. She couldn't believe that my son didn't hit back!

Over the years, he has grown to be a confident young man. Almost half of the one hundred youths who turned up on the first day of Chinese New Year were his friends alone! On that day, he was socializing with many and at the same time helping us with the logistics. He has friends from many different groups - different schools and churches. He is often asked to go out by different groups of friends to movies, shops, parties, and even just to hang out together.

What brought the change?

Perhaps it was watching his parents interact - Hubby and I are sociable creatures. We like small groups.

Perhaps it was attending a missions awareness course - He wanted to reach him friends. He still does and works hard at keeping in touch.

Perhaps it was a healing that the Lord did - He has had much prayer and we send him for courses.

Perhaps it was the football and other sports he played - he learned to interact in teams and work well together.

Perhaps it was just him slowly developing to be who he is as God intended - We tried to let him be himself.

Perhaps it was all the above.

Whatever it is, as he turns twenty later this year, we are pleased that he has grown to be who he is.

And we thank God.

The Shape of My Belly?

When I was pregnant with Arrow #2, the old lady next door would often greet me in her local dialect and ramble on about some things which I struggled to understand. Then she would inevitably ask the question, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

That is one of the most universal questions encountered by any pregnant woman!

Up until the twenty-sixth week, my answer would be, "I don't know".

This would be greeted with a snort and retort, "It's a girl. Look at how your belly is shaped" I forget if she said it was shaped pointed or rounded. But she was convinced I was carrying a girl.

I didn't want to tell her that my obstetrician had scanned and told me "70 percent it's a girl". I didn't want to give her that pleasure of being right simply by basing it on a shape! I felt indignant and it insulted my midwifery training!

More important to me at that time was that God had promised me sons - with a plural. So if this second pregnancy was a girl, would I have to conceive again? It didn't make sense!

Then when I was in my twenty-eighth week of pregnancy, the obstetrician exclaimed while scanning me, "AH! It's a boy! How could I have missed this before!" What relief I felt!

My next encounter with the next-door Aunty saw me trumpeting my my triumph reply to her usual question, "Doctor says it is a boy - confirmed!"

Her shocked and crushed look wiped the smug look off my face faster than you could say "Confirmed"!

I hadn't realised how important it was for her that she was right. It then struck me that she was often ignored at home. Perhaps this was one way she felt significant - to be an expert in something.

Worse - I didn't have the vocabulary to comfort her or to make it right. All I could do was to send over some food later, like a peace offering, which she graciously accepted.

Whilst I felt vindicated somehow that God's promise came to pass, I also learned a lesson. I would be more gentle in my speech, especially with the older folk.

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" Proverbs 25:11