That's hard to do. But we try. We try to say that each one is as valuable as the other, no matter how alike or how different. That is not to say that we do not encourage improvement or aspiration of better and higher goals. It's just that we try to put one next to the other with pointing fingers.
So when one child does better than another academically or in sports or some other field, we try very hard not to say, "See what so-and-so has done? Learn from him/her" We try to exercise restrain, we try to exhibit total acceptance and love.
When one is particularly outstanding, it is even harder still to bite one's tongue
Because you DO want the others to learn....
Any suggestions? Thoughts? Opinions?