January 11, 2009

Learning to Love

When I delivered my second Arrow, Arrow #1 was still asleep at home, in the care of my mother-in-law.

He was most upset when he woke and found me missing.

Later, when his Dad brought him to visit his new brother and me, he refused to sit next to me. It was as if he was silently angry with me but didn't know how to express it. He was bewildered. What 21-month old child wouldn't be?

Thankfully, a friend had given us a tip to encourage the bonding of young children with their newborn sibling.

Get the toddler a huge boxed gift, colourfully wrapped and beautifully decorated. It should be something the child would like, price irrelevant. Then, she said, present the gift to the Tai Kor (Chinese for big brother, and I don't mean the show!). When giving the present, explain that this came from the new baby, and was specially for him.

So we did.

Initially he was still silent. His eyes shifted between me, his baby brother, and the box which we placed on his lap, holding it there for him.

Then he reached out for the gaily wrapped package.

Gently, I helped him open the layers. It was one of those magnetic write-on-wipe-off toys.

He was hooked.

Moving across, he sat next to me and played happily with it. Still hardly saying a word.

Since then, they have spent more than seventeen years of their life together, sixteen of which were in the same room. Great friends and great brothers. I love watching them play and laugh together....

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