January 4, 2009

The Shape of My Belly?

When I was pregnant with Arrow #2, the old lady next door would often greet me in her local dialect and ramble on about some things which I struggled to understand. Then she would inevitably ask the question, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

That is one of the most universal questions encountered by any pregnant woman!

Up until the twenty-sixth week, my answer would be, "I don't know".

This would be greeted with a snort and retort, "It's a girl. Look at how your belly is shaped" I forget if she said it was shaped pointed or rounded. But she was convinced I was carrying a girl.

I didn't want to tell her that my obstetrician had scanned and told me "70 percent it's a girl". I didn't want to give her that pleasure of being right simply by basing it on a shape! I felt indignant and it insulted my midwifery training!

More important to me at that time was that God had promised me sons - with a plural. So if this second pregnancy was a girl, would I have to conceive again? It didn't make sense!

Then when I was in my twenty-eighth week of pregnancy, the obstetrician exclaimed while scanning me, "AH! It's a boy! How could I have missed this before!" What relief I felt!

My next encounter with the next-door Aunty saw me trumpeting my my triumph reply to her usual question, "Doctor says it is a boy - confirmed!"

Her shocked and crushed look wiped the smug look off my face faster than you could say "Confirmed"!

I hadn't realised how important it was for her that she was right. It then struck me that she was often ignored at home. Perhaps this was one way she felt significant - to be an expert in something.

Worse - I didn't have the vocabulary to comfort her or to make it right. All I could do was to send over some food later, like a peace offering, which she graciously accepted.

Whilst I felt vindicated somehow that God's promise came to pass, I also learned a lesson. I would be more gentle in my speech, especially with the older folk.

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" Proverbs 25:11

No comments:

Post a Comment